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The night that “Holiday,” the infectious lead single from Montero, the upcoming self-titled album from Montero Lamar Hill – the rapper/musician/social media impresario known as Lil Nas X – debuted, the artist checked himself into a hotel.

It was November 2020, 18 months after his country/hip-hop anthem “Old Town Road” took over the world and changed his life. Was he a one-hit wonder? Did he have what it took to make a full-length album? Was his past success a fluke? The world was anxious to see. So was he. In fact, he was terrified.

“The night before it came out, I was in my shower. I was like, ‘Oh god, I feel like I’m making a really bad decision,” he says, burying his face in his hands. “I was just like…what’s happening?”

To celebrate the track’s release, he had a small gathering with friends, but his focus kept shifting to comments about the track on Twitter. “I was seeing some nice things,” he recalls. “But I was seeing a lot of fucking negativity too.” So he checked the charts. “And I was like, ‘Oh shit. This is not even in the top 200. Oh god. What the fuck did I do wrong?

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